Let’s Talk about Mental Illness

Did my title get your attention? Did you think, “Whoa, she’s going to touch this topic?” Be honest, did you cringe or did you get a little uncomfortable. Well good!

More people than you can imagine who surround you every day suffer from mental illness wether it be Bipolar, Depression, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality  Disorder, etc…It may be the cashier at your grocery store, the bank teller, your neighbor, your friend , or your sister.

There are so many people out in our world who are fighting silent battles of mental illness we know nothing about. They are scared to share because they don’t want to be “labeled” or judged.

When I was in the psych ward at St. Joe’s in Tacoma two years ago, I had an enlightening experience. One day at lunch time the majority of the patients were in the commons area. We were allowed to have visitors and one patient had a friend come into the facility to visit.

The visitor looked around the room and announced, “So this is the crazy house!”

My heart sank; I looked around at the other patients and their heads dropped and their faces showed shame. Then my blood started boiling. How could this man say this right in front of us human beings who are needing and seeking help! I began shaking…here I was… a fragile person doing THE hardest thing in my life…seeking the desperate treatment I needed to save my life and once again being judged. This man did not know us nor our stories. He was judging us by simply being here. Would he have said something so awful to the patients in a cancer ward?  HELL NO!

So I gathered myself and courage and went directly to one of my therapists and told her exactly what happened as tears streamed down my face. She thanked me for telling her and said how sorry she was. She was going to talk to this man about his behavior. The sadness and pain this man brought on wasn’t really about me, it was for all the patients in the ward.

Those of us that suffer with mental illness are not crazy. We can live normal lives when we get the much needed medical treatment. We have an illness and that ILLNESS IS NOT WHO WE ARE!

As the visitor was leaving the ward, the therapist walked him out and confronted him. The gentleman was very apologetic and also said he knew the minute it came out of his mouth, it was so wrong. I think he was nervous being there and was trying to be funny (even tho it wasn’t). Many of us deal with uncomfortableness with humor even when it’s not appropriate…just human nature. I understand how nervous this first time visitor must have been. It’s not easy to step foot into a psych ward especially after all of the incorrect stereotypes that have seeped into our minds.  But as I reflect on this incident I realize how much this visitor must have cared about his friend. He was brave to come see him in this “unknown, scary” setting.

As a mother, at first I didn’t want my high school and middle school children to visit me here. I even had family members advise against my kids coming. I didn’t want them to see me in this setting.

But after talking to my psychologist there, he asked me this,” Do you think there is a stigma on mental illness? Do you want to keep contributing to this stigma?”

My definite answer was, “Yes our society is still ignorant about mental illness and I don’t want to keep contributing to the stigma. I want it to stop.”

As soon as I stated that, I knew I needed my kids to come. They needed to not only see me but everyone else here. I wanted them to see that it affects every type of person you can possibly imagine.   They were better off seeing their mom safe in a great place getting excellent care than the unknown and what their minds were possibly playing out. My children must understand mental illness; They too are so deeply affected by it as my son and daughter. I don’t want them to be scared to talk about or understand mental illness. They now have open minds and hearts!

So what are your ideas and thoughts about mental illness or the people who live with it every single day? What can you do to stop the stigma in our society?